"Swiping Right" on Psychology Today; How to Find a Therapist that is Right for You

Okay, so you’ve decided to start therapy. Now what? Who is going to be able to help you through your unique situation? Finding the right therapist is one of the biggest hurdles people face when they begin therapy. But the good news is you don’t have to get it perfect on the first try!

Finding the right therapist can be a bit like professional dating, so it’s totally okay to ‘shop around’ or ‘swipe right’ until you find someone you feel comfortable with. Here’s a few ways to make choosing the right therapist a little easier:

Understanding Your Needs

Before jumping into Google or diving into therapist directories, take a moment to reflect on what you’re looking for support with. Think about what made you choose to start therapy: Are you struggling with anxiety? Processing grief? Working on your relationships? Supporting your child or family? Whatever it is, there will be a therapist who specializes in it. By identifying your specific concerns, you’ll be able to narrow down your search and find someone who has the training or expertise that you’ll benefit from the most.

Every therapist will also differ in how they approach therapy. If you want more structured support, a therapist with CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) style would be a good place to start. If you’re looking for a therapist who addresses structure oppression, someone who works from postmodern approaches like feminist or narrative therapy may be a better option. Or if you’re looking for exploratory approaches that uncover more about yourself, someone with internal family systems or psychodynamic therapy experience is a good option.

So now that you’ve narrowed down the kind of therapy you want, what about the person who’ll be in the room with you? Just like on a dating app, it’s okay to let your personal preference influence who you reach out to. It’s perfectly valid to choose someone who shares your faith, or who’s part of the Queer community, or who shares your gender and age group — or those who don’t. There is no one-size-fits-all answer—what matters is what feels right to you!

And if that’s not enough, there’s practical considerations too. Are you looking for someone who offers in-person sessions, or who can connect online? Is there a part of the city where they should be located? When are you available for sessions? What kind of financial constraints do you have? Learn more about navigating financial barriers

Starting to see how finding the right therapist can include many factors?

Exploring Resources

Once you know what therapy style and type of person you want, you can start looking. Google is always an option, but there are specific therapist directories and platforms that can make your search easier.

If you have insurance coverage, the Psychology Today directory is like the phone book of licensed private practice therapists, with the added benefit of being able to filter by location, presenting issues, types of therapy, preferred language, and even cultural identity.

Platforms like TherapyOwl or Theralist can also be a great resource for general therapy, and might have listings for therapists in your area. If you are looking for a lower cost option Open Path Collective offers a unique model. It is tailored towards affordability through a one time membership fee and a $30-$70 CAD cost per session. Platforms that are tailored to particular population groups exist as well; Inclusive Therapists hosts therapists that focus on marginalized communities and promote accessibility; Healing in Colour specializes in BIPOC therapists.

If you are comfortable letting people in your life know that you are looking for a therapist, asking a trusted friend, family member, or even your doctor for a recommendation is always a good idea — they might know someone who could be a great fit for you.

What Should I Look For?

So you’ve found a few people who have a pretty good profile, and seem like they might be a good fit — so what’s next? It’s totally okay (and encouraged!) to reach out to the therapists you’re interested in and ask questions, or to have a free consultation if it’s offered.

If you need help, here are some questions that can help you identify the potential for them to be “your therapist”:

What experience do you have with [your concern]?

What does a typical session look like?

What’s your general approach to therapy?

What happens if I feel like it’s not a good fit?

These conversations aren’t about impressing anyone—they’re about seeing if there’s a good dynamic, if you feel safe, and if their approach lines up with your needs. No pressure, no commitment, just two people getting to know each other and seeing if they fit.

Reaching Out for Support

I want to name that the actual act of reaching out—making that call or sending that first email—can feel scary even with all the preparation in the world.

That first step is often the hardest part. But reaching out is a deeply brave and meaningful move toward change, healing, and care. Know that even though reaching out can be really scary and vulnerable to you, therapists are comfortable talking about mental health and we want you to reach out!

If you’re not sure where to start, Rooted Mind offers free consultations so you can ask questions and explore if we’re a good fit; and if we aren’t the right fit, potentially referring you to someone who could be, or at least supporting you in finding that right person with support.

The First Session: What to Expect

So you’ve booked your first official session (yay!) and you’re wondering… now what?

The first session is usually about getting to know each other. Your therapist will probably ask you about your goals, what brought you to therapy, and gather some background information to better understand your context. You don’t need to share everything all at once — this is your space, and you get to go at your own pace.

This session is also a chance for you to decide if the therapist feels like a good fit. Did you feel heard? Was the vibe what you were hoping for? Did you leave the session feeling even slightly more hopeful or grounded? These are all good signs that you’re on the right track.

Making the Decision

At the end of the day, the most important factor in therapy is the relationship. A vast history of research shows that a good working relationship between client and therapist is one of the most important predictors of positive outcomes (Flückiger et al., 2018). So if you leave that first session with a gut feeling that this might not be the right person for you — that’s okay! It’s not a failure, it’s information. You’re allowed to not book in again after the first (or any session) and try a different therapist for your next appointment. Your counselling should be about you and your needs, not about committing to one therapist!

Here’s some phrases you can use if you want to avoid the pressure of rebooking: “I’ll need to look at next week/month and get back to you.” “I have another free consult scheduled with someone else, I want to talk with them first before I decide who to book with.” or “I don’t know if we are the right fit [for x reason], I want to think about it before I decide to book again.”

Give yourself permission to take your time in this process. Therapy is a deeply personal experience. Even if your first few therapists just don't feel right, that is ok! The right therapist for you does exist. People wouldn't decide that dating isn't for them if they have one bad date, and you shouldn't give up on therapy because you didn't find an appointment or therapist helpful. It's likely that you just haven't found the right fit yet!

Final Thoughts

Finding the right therapist is a process, not a one-and-done task. It’s okay to be picky. It’s okay to have questions. And it’s more than okay to walk away from a therapist who doesn’t feel like the right fit.

The journey of therapy starts with one brave step — and whether that step is sending an email, making a phone call, or just thinking about it today, that makes a difference and it matters. You deserve support that feels safe, affirming, and genuinely helpful. So take your time, trust your instincts, and know that Rooted Mind (and many other therapists out there!) are here when you’re ready!

References

• Flückiger, C., Del Re, A. C., Wampold, B.E., & Horvath, A. O. (2018) Alliance in adult psychotherapy: A meta-analytic synthesis. Psychotherapy, 55(4), 316-340. doi: 10.1037/pst0000172